


Are You Trying to Kill Me?!

by unfledged



Series: Night at the Apartment [2]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Post-Night at the Museum 3: Secret of the Tomb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 03:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11912076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfledged/pseuds/unfledged
Summary: Part of the Night at the Apartment series, this story takes place before Napoleon and Al Capone move out, when they are still living together with Kahmunrah and Ivan. Coming home from a shopping trip, Napoleon realizes that he may not have made the best choice in board games, with disastrous results.





	Are You Trying to Kill Me?!

Napoleon made his way quickly up the stairs to the second floor of the apartment, a square package in his hands. Full of determination as he strode down the hall, he couldn't wait to share what he had bought with his roommates. His recent purchase had been a stroke of genius, exactly the kind of item that their home sorely needed.

Finally, he made it to door 33A and confidently entered the living room, full of anticipation. "Je suis là!" he called out, but the house was dark and no one answered. Napoleon stopped, taking a moment to close the door behind him and flick on the lights. Oh, it appeared that no one was home. How disappointing. And he had so wanted to try out the new chess board he had bought.

Sighing, he placed the box on the table and removed it's wrapping. Tossing the paper in the trash, he mumbled to himself, "Well, perhaps when zey return." "Sure would be lovely if zey informed me when zey planned a group outing but oh what can you do." Napoleon pulled out his phone and scrolled through it. "Ah, and not even a biting text from Scarface. How rude."

Napoleon jumped at the sudden sound of movement in the doorway across from him. His head shot up and he instinctively reached for where his sword used to hang on his belt. This 'no weapons in the apartment' rule that Lawrence Daley enforced was such an inconvenience. However, he never let it trouble him greatly, never raising up as big of a fuss as Kahmunrah or Capone had. With such a brilliant mind as his, he could easily make due should the need arise.

However, there was no burglar or other dangerous intruder in the doorway. Instead, Ivan stood there, staring at him calmly.

"Oh, you are back from de store. What is dat box dere?"

Napoleon stared back for a second, baffled. "What were you doing in ze dark? You had me thinking you had all gone off somewhere without me!"

Ivan raised his eyebrows. "Hm? Nyet, no one has left without you. I believe Kahmunrah has gotten 'imself into drouble with some of Capone's men. Capone left to go deal with it."

"...and what, pray tell, were you doing in ze dark?"

"Ohh dat. I was practicing."

Napoleon shot him a quizzical look. "...Practicing."

"Da, da, practicing. I must be able to see in de dark if I am to defend myself when de nobility send deir men to assassinate me."

Napoleon frowned and lifted a finger, planning to rebuke this ludicrous statement, but thought the better of it. He lowered his hand and shook his head.

"Ah... of course. Well...!"

They stood there, sharing in the uncomfortable silence, before Napoleon remembered, "My chess board!"

Ivan raised his head. "Chto?"

**Author's Note:**

> My sister and I came up with this story idea together. I'll get to the next chapter as soon as I can! I only have wifi once in a while so I might not be able to upload it right away. Check the summary for my fanfic I HATE WALMART if you'd like a bit more info on the series! I'm planning a new fic soon with Ahkmenrah where I'll get into full detail about the backstory for Night at the Apartment.


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